10 Cheap (slightly offensive) costumes

By Ant Perrucci

Ah, Halloween. There’s no better day of the year. You get to go around, demand candy from your neighbors, and if they don’t give over the loot, you toilet paper their house like there’s no tomorrow.

Alternatively, you can party and drink with your friends while wearing all manner of garish costumes.

Either way, it’s twice as much fun as Christmas and right up there with the Fourth of July as far as potential for mischief is concerned.

Of course, the most important thing about Halloween is the costume.

And given the state of the economy and the fact that alcohol costs money, we here at Drift are going to help you out. Here are 10 cheap costumes that are easy on the budget and fun on the eyes.

1) THE EASY WAY OUT: We don’t recommend you do this, but should you have the bad luck to not have a costume or, even worse, be stuck at work late, you can always just show up in your work uniform.

You can do it, but you will be That Guy. Your friends will be embarrassed of you, and you can forget about entering a costume contest for a free bar tab.

2) THE EASY WAY OUT (FEMALE): If you’re a lady without either the time or imagination to put together a costume, you can always go the whore-y route: Grab a low-cut shirt and a push-up bra and be the “Buy Me Drinks!” girl.

But you’ll be That Girl. You know, the one every drunken idiot thinks will go home with him. Guess those drinks aren’t quite free …

3) THE BREAKDANCER: Grab a piece of cardboard and some 80s gear (come on, we know you have some Hypercolor in the back of the closet). Anytime rap comes on, throw your cardboard down and get loose.

Bonus points if you give yourself a high-top fade. Also, you should probably know how to breakdance.

4) TOILET TRIUMPH: Mummies don’t get much play these days. Everyone’s all about zombies, ninjas, pirates and the like. Don’t believe the hype. Mummies are cool, and the costume can be had for the price of a nine-pack of toilet paper. Less, if you work somewhere that you can just steal some from the bathroom supplies.

5) CHEAP AND OFFENSIVE: Now this is a category we like.

Take St. Augustine resident Ezra Loy (pictured). Last year, he cobbled together a costume on the cheap consisting of:

• A wheelchair from a thrift store
• A Superman t-shirt
• A neck brace

He won a $75 bar tab at the St. George Tavern, and our un-ending respect for both his ingenuity, his reckless disregard for the boundaries of good taste and his surprising ability to drink a beer through three straws set up end-to-end.

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