Drift’s Guide to kickball

By Chad Smith and Katie Sanders

Question: Is there anything more American than baseball?
Answer: Yes. Baseball that allows you to bean baserunners to get them out is considerably more American, not to mention more fun.

Ahh, kickball, this country’s true pastime.

The elementary school game combines the best aspects of baseball (head-first slides at home), soccer (kicking the crap out of a ball) and dodgeball (see: second paragraph) and it’s reasonably easy to organize.

So do yourself a favor before the summer is over … PLAY KICKBALL

WHAT YOU NEED

• Field, preferably a baseball/softball diamond with four bases.
• Kickball. We suggest an official World Adult Kickball Association ball (best $10 you could spend this summer).
• Even number of people to be split into two teams. Fourteen should do, but any more than 18 would be too many.

RULES
It’s just like baseball except…

• WAKA rules dictate games last five innings. But if you can make it a full nine, do it. It just feels right.
• No lead-offs or base stealing.
• Peg-outs are allowed. Hell, they’re encouraged.
• Foul balls add up. According to WAKA rules, foul balls aren’t considered strikes. But if you kick four of them, you’re out.

TIPS

• Establish a kickoff time that will not give your teammates heat stroke. If you’re playing one game, try to roll the first pitch at 10 a.m. Wait until late afternoon for the rematch.
• On that note, bring iced water in a thermos (and cups for inevitable freeloaders).
• The game hasn’t changed since fourth grade, but you have. What you wore to class or work won’t cut it on the field. Bring a loose, breathable T-shirt, lightweight athletic shorts and tennis shoes or cleats. Headbands and kneesocks are a plus.
• Come up with ridiculous/offensive team names, preferably ones you can easily chant.
• Talk trash.
• Make sure the ball is sufficiently inflated. If it’s not, the ball likely won’t make it out of the infield very much, which is great for folks who love bunting and manufactured runs. But really, chicks dig the long ball.