Lit: I Am America (And So Can You!)
By Drift on Dec 7, 2007 in Lit
I AM AMERICA (AND SO CAN YOU!)
Stephen Colbert
Grand Central Publishing 2007
By Shannon McAleenan
Stephen Colbert is America. And so can you, provided you agree with all the opinions he spouts in his book. Don’t worry about having to make up your mind about anything. This is an all-inclusive bound ideology.
Stephen Colbert’s show, “The Colbert Report,” follows Jon Stewart’s “The Daily Show.” But from the tone of Colbert’s book, he is the American you should be most interested in.
In this satirical tome, “I am America (And So Can You!),” Colbert tries to transmit his cable success to the page. His I’m-more-American-than-you persona works great on television, but his trademark wit doesn’t bite as hard in book form. On his show, Colbert stands his ground on the political right, but the jokes take a hard left turn. The complexities of this relationship don’t translate to book form. This aside, there are still more than enough laughs to make this book worth a read.
Why did Colbert write a book? In his introduction, he says, “I have so many opinions, I have overwhelmed my ability to document myself. I thought my nightly broadcast would pick up some of the slack. But here’s the dirty little secret. When the cameras go off, I’m still talking. It’s time to impregnate this country with my mind.”
So fathers, watch your daughters. Colbert is back in book form with his black and white, pro or con opinions.
The book is divided into three sections, “My American Childhood,” “My American Adolescence” and “My American Maturity.” Under these auspices, Colbert tackles religion, “Sex & Dating: 1001 Abstinence Positions,” race, the class war and “Science: Thanks for the Nukes, Now Go Away.”
One of the high points is the science chapter. While decrying scientists as “dangerously deluded,” he offers up an alternative to the scientific method we all learned in grade school. “Step 1: Remember: Six thousand years ago, God created the Heavens and the Earth. Step 2: Repeat as necessary.” And while Colbert pokes fun at science, he provides a glossary of scientific terms, defined with his puntastic asides. He used to be all for using Fahrenheit to measure temperature until he learned it’s named after a Dutch scientist. “I don’t want my thermometer taking orders from some Amsterdam stoner who got bonged out of his mind one night and started messing around with mercury.”
In his chapter on higher education, Colbert hits a high mark for cleverness. He identifies several serial killers and general freaks as academics:
“There’s an old saying, ‘A little knowledge is a dangerous thing.’ Which means a lot of knowledge must be a really dangerous thing. And it is.”
Maybe college isn’t such a great idea. Following Colbert’s esteemed advice, we should all work hard and make opinions based solely on his.
“I am America (And So Can You!)” may fall short of Colbert’s show, but it is a glimpse inside a twisted and darkly funny mind. For those of you not interested in politics, science, race or education, he even offers advice on finding love:
“You can’t hurry love — but you can certainly take the shortcut. Instead of paging through Match.com, try flipping through the family photo album.”
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