News of the Weird: November

By Chuck Shepherd

Fine Points of The Law

Louisiana prosecutors want the death penalty in the first trial for accused serial killer Sean Gillis, but to get that for an individual murder, state law requires an “aggravating circumstance” beyond the murder, such as kidnapping or robbery. At an August hearing, a prosecutor said Gillis had actually “robbed” his first victim, in that he had absconded with one of her arms and part of a leg. Gillis’ lawyer argued that that was not “robbery,” in that those parts were merely “left over” from the homicide.

Leading Economic Indicators

Three U.S. finance professors, working with business data provided to the government of Denmark, concluded that a company’s profitability usually falls following a death in the CEO’s immediate family. However, the professors found (according to a September Wall Street Journal report), that profitability slightly increased if the family death was that of the CEO’s mother-in-law.

D-U-WHO?

In Abbotsford, Wis., in August, Harvey Miller, 43, and Edwin Marzinske, 55, were both ticketed for DUI while driving the same car. Miller has no legs but was steering; Marzinske was operating the foot pedals. Both men argued to police that neither of them was, by himself, “operating” the car.

Recurring Themes

Small-time drug operators, thinking they are keeping a low profile, continue to have their hideouts inadvertently discovered by police. In June, a single-engine plane crash-landed outside a home near Baton Rouge, La., and responding police discovered marijuana plants in the yard. In September in Escatawpa, Miss., Curtiss Coleman, 53, attempting to dial 411 directory assistance, mistakenly dialed 911, though he immediately hung up. However, police routinely investigate dropped 911 calls and discovered Coleman’s methamphetamine lab.

Least Competent Criminals

According to police in Warsaw, Poland, novelist Krystian Bala might have gotten away with torturing and murdering a businessman in 2000 if only he had resisted writing about his crime in his 2003 novel, “Amok.” The trail for the killer had been cold for several years until a tipster informed police of the book. In the plot, which authorities say bore a distinct resemblance to the 2000 murder, were details that police say could only have been known by the killer. After investigating, police found several other ties Bala had to the crime, including the fact that the victim was Bala’s ex-wife’s lover. Bala was sentenced in September to 25 years in prison.

Latest Religious Messages

A particularly environmentally conscious Catholic priest in Suffolk, England, set up a confessional in August at a Greenpeace festival to permit parishioners to relieve their guilt over despoiling the Earth, according to a report in The Times of London. At the festival, however, the priest, Dom Anthony Sutch, also had to deal with the August announcement that the Vatican would begin transporting 150,000 pilgrims a year on chartered, high-carbon-footprint airliners.

Latest Human Rights

The largest school district in Montreal, Quebec, was ordered by an arbitrator to rehire a teacher whom it had fired in 2004 for illegally failing to disclose a conviction for killing his wife. The arbitrator ruled the firing improper, in that homicide is unrelated to the teacher’s classroom work.

Questionable Menus

Puzzlingly, young adults in Japan seem particularly drawn toward mayonnaise, and thus Koji Nakamura might have a shot at success with his Mayonnaise Kitchen restaurant in a Tokyo suburb, according to an August Reuters story. Included in his fare are several mayonnaise-flavored cocktails, including the “Mayogarita.”